Tag Archive for: preemies

Magical Moment: Can You Be Certain?

Photo by Matt Howard on Unsplash

Hey Sweet Friend,

I’ve been thinking a lot about you and wondering how you are.

How you’re adjusting to this “new normal.”

So much of this time reminds me of when our daughter, Andie was born so prematurely. That was a time full of so much uncertainty. It was scary, confusing and exhausting. Just like now.

There are times when I look back and wonder how I got through that period in our lives.

But the reality is, I just did. Because I didn’t have a choice.

The choice I did have, however, was how I showed up in the midst of the crisis. At first it wasn’t pretty – at all. But eventually I found my footing and started to recognize that there were practices I could put in place to support and sustain myself for the long journey ahead.

It’s the stuff I talk about all the time now. Creating structure in your days, making time for just you – ways to feed your soul and refill your depleted well – drinking lots of water, moving your body, sitting for a few quiet minutes and taking in some deep breaths.

So simple… yet a consistent daily practice is something certain we can rely on in the midst of times of uncertainty.

Lately, I’ve been thinking lots about all the moms at home with kids – juggling their work, making meals, teaching school and every other aspects of life falling on their shoulders right now. (Dads I know you’re out there doing your part, too!)

Climbing into bed last week, I had the idea that I wanted to somehow send my book, A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Magical Life to all the moms out there who needed a little something for themselves. A little gift and reminder that they matter and it’s ok to take a little time for themselves. But the post office was out of the question, so how would I get books to the people who need them most? I woke the next day and shared my idea with Lee. “I wish I could stand in our front yard and throw the books into the air and magically they’d land in the homes of all the moms who would benefit.”

From there the idea arrived that I could do this on a local level… put a whole bunch of books in a place where moms could come and take a copy.

The reporter who wrote an article when Preemie was first published kindly offered to write an article to help spread the word…

Local Author Offers Copies of Mindfulness Book for Free

Finally, it was quite a magical and powerful moment to sit side by side with my girl, Andie and listen to her answer questions written in asking about her experience as a former preemie.

An Interview With My Grown-Up Preemie Daughter

Much love,

Kasey

 

Are You Kidding Me?

Before I write these Magical Moment Blog posts, or what I think of more as my love notes to you, I take time to contemplate upon the messages that you’re most likely needing to hear right now.

I may sit quietly for guidance, but more often than not, the inspiration for these writing pieces come to me while I’m on my daily walks with Georgie Girl.

Perhaps it’s because we’re in the busy month of September, but the message I was told to share with you today is around Being Present in our day to day lives.

There is a funny passage in my first book, Preemie, that touches on exactly that.

It’s what I fondly refer to as my “grocery cart moment.”

I’m sharing it here in the hope that it inspires you to ask yourself, Am I present!

Enjoy!

 

From Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life and Motherhood – Chapter 30 – Moments

Karen McCarthy, the energy healer we worked with, talked a great deal about my inability to stay present.

She leaned forward in her office chair and touched my knee.

“You’re always checking out,” she said. “Try staying present and really be in the moment. When you’re with your kids, be with them. In the grocery store, really look at the fruits and vegetables. Appreciate the colors. On your walks notice the trees, feel the wind on your cheeks. Be in the moment.

By the end of that appointment, we came up with the technique of asking myself Am I present?

It actually helped.

During the morning drop off at Andie’s school, I talked more with other parents and even arranged a few date play dates without Andie’s prodding.

I felt more comfortable inside my own skin.

Then I had what I come to call my “shopping cart moment.”

It was one of those mornings when I’d raced the kids to school and zoomed off to try and do way more errands than time could possibly allow.

I was in the grocery store, throwing things in my cart, thinking about my next stop and checking my watch, when the question rang in my mind.

Kasey, are you present?

I laughed out loud.

I looked down at my shoes. “No,” I whispered to the shopping cart.

I took a deep breath, held up my to-do list, and scratched off all the other errands.

I decided that while I filled my grocery cart, I would stay fully present and enjoy the experience.

In the produce section, I studied the bright red tomatoes, smelled the strawberries, and rubbed the melons. I wandered around and found foods I never even knew the store carried. I was delighted when recipe ideas popped into my head.

Eventually, I arrived at the checkout. The lines were several customers deep.

I wanted to fret, but instead took my spot third in line and waited while two more shoppers fell in line behind me.

Yes, I boasted out loud in my head, I am present.

The line moved, and I was up next. Preparing to unload my cart, I looked down. And then I looked down again. I looked behind me, and then back into the cart.

It was empty.

My shopping cart was empty.

I’d stood line for ten minutes clinging to the handle of an empty shopping cart.

Later I’d laugh when I told Lee, but in the meantime, I had to excuse myself, reverse my empty cart under the scrutiny of other shoppers and find my way back out of line. “I forgot something,” I mumbled. “Yeah your mind,” their looks seem to say.

I searched several aisles and finally found my full cart waiting patiently alongside the canned tomatoes and imported olive oils.

I must have walked away with an empty one that had been sitting near mine.

I swapped carts, and as I pushed my loaded cart back down the aisle, I asked out loud, “Kasey are you present?”

That time, I refused to answer.

Do you ever have those moments?

I’d love to hear!

And please share this with anyone in your life you feel could use a little reminder to Be More Present!

Here’s to Endings and New Beginnings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am the proud Mama of a high school graduate!

For all of you who have followed my book, Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life, and Motherhood and know the story of our girl’s birth, you know that moments like these hold an extra sprinkle of significance.

Yet, I was so busy getting ready for the event of graduation – cleaning the house, making beds for family and friends, ordering platters of food, replying to graduation party invites, and attending end of year presentations, that I wasn’t really thinking anything about the significance of this moment at all.

And yet, once the day of graduation arrived, and we all sat on folding chairs under the big white tent, and I looked up on that stage and saw our daughter with a huge smile on her face, my throat constricted, and tears started forming behind my eyes.

She’s no longer a preemie, but I couldn’t help but imagine, what if, in all those dark, uncertain moments, we’d been given just a glimpse of the young woman she’d one day become? Just a quick peek behind that curtain. I began to imagine how differently I would have moved through those days. How I would have been so much less afraid and so much more present to both our baby in the hospital and our beautiful two-year-old, Tucker at home.

But, alas, as a dear friend once said, Life don’t work that way, girlfriend.

So I grabbed a tissue from my purse and decided that instead of looking back on what could have been, I can be present to this current moment and allow myself to see what is right in front of me. A beautiful, confident, ambitious, young woman.

And at the same moment, I allow myself to think of all the other parents currently facing the unknown with their babies, and send out a blessing and intention that someday, they too, will be sitting in a crowd of weepy and cheering families watching their former preemies move across a stage to mark the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another.

And what a beginning this will be for our girl, as she has deferred her college acceptance for a year and heads off on a Gap Year program that takes her traveling to different countries all over the world.

New beginnings for us all!