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Mother’s Day Magic

I hope this finds you well and enjoying the glorious month or May (or the new June, as many of the moms I know have dubbed it it’s so full and busy!).

With this time of year so heavily focused on getting the kids to the end of the school year, we need to remember to take a few moments for ourselves each and every day!

I saw first hand the power of this when I was up in my hometown of Syracuse, NY for a couple of Mother’s Day events.

The first event was a wonderful gathering for the NICU expansion at Crouse Hospital where I spoke about my first book, Preemie: Lessons in Love, Life, and Motherhood. You can read more about that here – CROUSE HOSPITAL NICU FUNDRAISER

The following day was to be an evening book signing for A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Magical Life at Barnes and Noble, but before that, an opportunity to appear on the local evening news popped up!

Was I nervous? Of course, but mostly I wanted to get it right.

I studied some newscasts and noticed how most of the women dress, typically in more form-fitting dresses.

“I’m going to wear the same pink dress I wore last night for the talk and then quickly change for the book signing,” I declared to my mom and Andie.

“And because timing will be tight, Andie, you and Papa Jer can go ahead to Barnes and Noble and set up the food, drinks and books.”

Everyone nodded their heads.

And then I strode out to the car to pack my extra books, seltzers, cookies and the outfit I’d quickly change into once the news segment was over.

On the way back in my mom mentioned that Andie might want to see the television station, but I assured her we were on too tight a time crunch and that wouldn’t work.

I quickly moved up the stairs to grab a shower, but remembered I’d promised myself to take a few minutes to listen to a meditation.

So I did.

And within moments of lying down on the bed and listening to the calm, serene words of the meditation wash over and into me, I saw a vision of myself on the news, wearing the loose and comfy outfit I’d planned for the book signing – and there Andie, right there watching!

I was tempted to pop right up, but I listened to the rest of the meditation, and found even deeper stillness and quiet.

And once it ended, I took out my earphones, walked over to Andie and said, “I’m back, and I’d love for you to go to the news station with me.”

“What about the bookstore set up?” she asked.

“Who cares if we’re throwing cookies on a plate when people arrive,” I said and went to put on my cozy outfit.

What I realized during that meditation was that the news channel wasn’t interested in having another news anchor on the air. They were interested in a woman who shows up as her authentic self and speaks about what lights her up.

I hope that’s what I did, and I hope that inspires you to do the same in your life!

NBC3 Mother’s Day News Segment

Walking into the news station, Andie looked around and said, “This is dope.”

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10 Lessons on Having a Preemie

photo credit: barycenter.com

10 Lessons on Having a Preemie

1.) You didn’t do anything wrong.  After having a preemie, it is completely normal to feel guilty, ashamed and terribly afraid after giving birth to a preemie, but It Is Not Your Fault. You might never know Why your baby arrived early and sometimes you have to let go of the Why in order to move forward.

2.) Not everyone is a “baby person” and nurturing is not automatic for every mother, even mothers of full term babies.  It’s o.k. if you feel this way; many women do but don’t speak their feelings out loud.

3.) Speak your truth. Don’t let your fears and anxiety breed in the dark.  Bringing your deep felt emotions to light keeps them from growing and festering inside you.

4.) Motherhood can be lonely, even for mothers of full-term babies. Ask for help. When others offer help, accept it.  By receiving with openness and grace, you are in fact giving in return. And believe it or not, to show your vulnerability is actually to be at your greatest strength.

5.) Create a vision of your baby in the future and hold on to that vision.  Write a list of all your “some days” – walking on the beach, eating ice cream cones on a hot summer day, flying a brightly colored kite, lying in the grass looking for shapes in the clouds…

6.) Don’t believe everything the doctors tell you. Create your own expectations for your child and don’t allow your child’s potential to be limited by anyone else.  Use your voice.  Speak up for yourself and your baby.  You are your baby’s voice.

7.) Cover your baby’s isolet with a dark blanket.  If your NICU is too bright or too noisy, speak up.  Your baby will grow and heal best in a dark womb-like environment.  Post-NICU, explore alternative therapies to compliment traditional medical treatments, i.e. Reiki, energy healing, cranial sacral therapy, Brain Gym.

8.) If you can’t shake your deep anxiety, it’s highly likely you’re suffering from PTSD.  Posttraumatic Stress is very common among preemie parents. (Resources to help – EMDR, Support groups, Peer to Peer support through Hand to Hold, therapy, writing),

9.) Take care of YOU.  Like the oxygen mask on an airplane, you have to breathe first before putting the mask on your child. It’s ok to take time for yourself and let someone else care for your baby.

10.) Choose love over fear.  It’s the hardest thing in the world to love when you’re so afraid you might lose, but our babies came here to love and be loved.  And remember, no matter how bad things get, no matter how lonely you feel, You are not Alone. Someone has walked this path before you and someday you’ll be on the other side sharing your story.

Ready for more? Join me and other moms in Igniting Your Magical Life; Becoming a Happier Mom Workshops

© Kasey Mathews, 2012