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Do You Need Permission?

So here we are.

September has arrived.

Classroom bells are ringing.

Summer is in the rearview mirror.

Many college-aged kids have flown the nest.

And how does all of this leave you feeling?

The other day I was sitting out in the backyard Adirondack chair, catching up on the phone with a friend.

She brought up a difficulty she was having.

“I feel angry and upset,” she had said. “But I know I should be feeling fortunate and grateful.”

I sat for a moment and watched the clouds slowly drifting by.

When I responded, the words came from my mouth, but they didn’t feel like they’d really come from me.

“What if you just allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling?” I asked.

We were both quiet for a few moments.

Feel what I’m feeling? she tentatively asked.

“Yeah,” I said with growing confidence, “Give yourself permission to feel exactly what you’re feeling, rather than what you think you should be feeling.”

I could feel a charge through the phone line as we both absorbed this concept.

In the following days, my friend would report how liberating it felt to truly allow herself to feel the actual, real feelings that emerged within her.

I too put this new method into practice.

I had the perfect opportunity, as suitcases were pulled down from the attic, and our girl prepared to leave for her Gap Year travels.

At first, I was doing exactly what my friend had done. Feeling one way, but dismissing those feelings for the feelings I thought I should be feeling.

When I thought of the airport departure, when I thought of the empty bedroom and breakfast table, I felt sad. But I told myself I should be feeling excited for my daughter. I should be feeling grateful that she has this amazing opportunity.

But I caught myself and gave myself permission to feel what I was really feeling…sad.

And I noticed an amazing thing started to happen.

When I really allowed myself to feel that sadness, it seemed to move through me, as if it had been heard, acknowledged and didn’t need to take up so much residence within my body anymore.

And I noticed that beneath the sadness, there was excitement, gratitude, and joy.

Later, when the sadness reemerged, I welcomed it. I felt what I was feeling.

I welcomed Sadness and offered to pour her a cup of tea. To sit together and wrap ourselves in a blanket and chat about how much we were going to miss our girl.

And later, when she said goodbye, I was free to welcome whatever other emotions arrived at my door.

Please, come in Gratitude…

Welcome, Appreciation…

Let us sit together and discover what brings you here today.

And let’s imagine all the amazing tales our girl will have to share when she returns from her travels!


(The morning of her departure – airport goodbye kiss)

Plain and simple…

if you feel it, feel it.

Give yourself permission.

With love and blessings,

Kasey

Ask Yourself: What Do You Need

When our daughter was little, there were times when she was so out of sorts, I felt helpless in helping her.

One day, I opened up to a friend and shared this with her. In return, she offered the suggestion of asking our girl the simple question – What do you need?

That question became my magical go-to.

I remember the numerous times I knelt down, put my hands on her bony shoulders, and asked her, What do you need?

Often, she didn’t know, but the fact that I cared to ask and listen, seem to be exactly what she needed.

I offer this to you today, because so often, many of us find ourselves in times of uncertainty and feeling out of sorts.

This is an opportunity to ask ourselves this very question– What do I need?

And in response, just listen.

Let your voice from within tell you what you need.

Maybe you’ll hear:

Rest.

A bath.

A good cry.

A long walk.

The cup of tea with a friend.

A turkey sandwich with lots of cranberry.

A romantic comedy.

A night out belly up to the bar with with a salted margarita.

A pillow to punch and get all my anger out.

What do you need?

Your turn.

Ask yourself – What do I need?

Write down the first things you just heard.

And let the Magic begin!

Is Overwhelm a Choice?

Image result for overwhelm

(photo credit problogger.com)

Last Saturday morning the alarm rang at 4:30 am.

A cold, dark sky met my view out the window. I rolled over and thought of all the reasons we should not be going to the scheduled weekend event.

We’ve been traveling so much lately, the house is a mess, the kids are exhausted, I have so much laundry to do, the bills are piled up on the counter, and my bed is so cozzzzy.

Then I heard a voice in my head say, “Overwhelm is a choice.”

I rolled back over and stared up at the ceiling, allowing myself to hear the words again.

Overwhelm is a choice.

And right at that moment, I made a choice.

I chose to not feel overwhelmed.

It was 4:30 in the morning, but I realized I wasn’t actually tired.

And rather than think of all that would be left undone for the weekend, I thought of all the potential joy for us as a family.

I felt my whole body shift and relax.

I easily climbed out of bed to put on the tea kettle, start the car, gather snacks, blankets and pillows for the ride and greet my family with an early morning smile.

And I thought about my role as Mom, and just how much my mood sets the tone for the family.

Overwhelm is a Choice.

What a gift to have received such wise words – and show up calm, composed and open to all the wonders of time spent fully present and engaged with my family.

Remember, You get to Choose How You Show Up in Your Life.

“Your environment does not create your peace, your peace creates your environment.” (momdelights.com)

Do you find yourself angry and overwhelmed? Remember, overwhelm is a choice! You have the ability to re-frame your mindset and choose happiness instead! #overwhelmed #mindset #selfcare

Letting Go

Last week I felt an unexpected surge of courage and decided to email Arianna Huffington directly and pitch her a story idea. Not only was I surprised that she replied two hours later, but was also surprised to learn that she’d left her position at the Huffington Post to start a new company called Thrive Global. I love the new company’s mission which you can read about here. My surprise went one step further when she wrote that she loved the story and my voice and not only wanted to publish my story but asked me to be a regular Thrive contributor! How’s that for Magic? Lesson for the week – put yourself out there and see what happens!

photo credit: RE Magazine

The Gift of Impermanence

Everyday on the way to the kid’s school we used to pass a big, red barn. Boy, did I love the sight of that barn. Every morning as we drove up the hill, with the blue sky and fluffy clouds in the background, I’d think, “Man I have got to get a photo of that barn.” But we were always running late, or my phone was too full, and I just never did. And then one day, on the way to school, a swarm of workers surrounded the barn, and by the next morning, the barn was gone. Gone.

Next year my son will be gone — gone off to college. And two years after that, my daughter will follow suit. The other day my son and our dog, Ed were curled up on the couch — it was a magical moment — “Please let me take picture,” I asked, and surprisingly he said OK. But once again the screen on my phone was black with the message Cannot Take Photo…

So for the past week I’ve made a concerted effort to “de-clutter” all the photos on my phone and computer. My phone is so full, it can’t take new photos or even receive voicemail. And my computer, well let’s just say that if my computer wore pants, it would be up several sizes. Both my phone and my computer are backed up; so all I really need to do is delete the 5,147 photos on my phone and the 31,498 photos on my computer. But I worry…

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