Dear Pediatrician

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I wonder if you remember me?

We met almost eleven years ago?

I was that one with the really preemie baby.

Remember?

She had an ostomy bag and a scar on her back from a heart/lung surgery?

I carried her in a soft pink fleece and was a little shaky having just brought her home from the NICU?

Do you remember me?

Well, I remember you.

I remember your charcoal-colored cashmere sweater and matching thick-framed glasses.

I remember the glossy photo of your three beautiful children hanging on your office wall.

I remember the shiny silver pen you used to record your notes and how you never looked up when you said my daughter would always be small.

I remember you did look up when I said, “No,” and how I had to explain that I meant No, she wouldn’t always be small.

I remembered how you chuckled, and mumbled something about denial.

But I remember knowing that I was Not in denial.

I remember the deep knowing I felt within my being.  The knowing that my girl would not meet your expectations, but mine and the expectations of those who loved and believed in her.

I remember wondering about the other preemie parents you might meet and what would happen if they believed Your Truth.

I remember promising myself that someday I would tell you just how wrong you were.

Well, someday has arrived.

My daughter, her name is Andie, in case you don’t remember, is turning 11 at the end of the month and had her annual check-up yesterday.

I just wanted to let you know that she’s bumped up a little on the growth charts.

She’s still in the 75th percentile for weight, but is now in the 90th percentile for height.

I did promise myself I’d say it, and I’d like to, but instead, I think I’ll just say… Thank you.
110911-2 Thank you for your certainty in all the things our daughter would not be and your certainty in all the things she could not do, because without your certainty, perhaps I would never have found mine.

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go,

only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.” ~ Karen Ravn

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What about you?  Have you ever experienced someone else telling you what will or will not be?

I’d love to hear your comments!

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