Stop Waiting and Start Living

I recently had an a moment that reminded me it was time to stop waiting and start living.

It all began not too long ago when I saw a beautiful sundress online…

The sundress was way more expensive than I would usually spend.

Yet for a week I left it in the shopping cart and opened the tab nearly every day.

Several times my hand came close to pressing the purchase button, but I kept stopping myself. 

Truth is, I’m more of a TJMaxx and thrift store kind of shopper.

And yet, something kept drawing me back to the dress. 

“It’s hand woven and made by local women in Greece,” I whispered to myself. 

And then the little voice in my head said, “Go for it.”

And before I could think any further, I had pressed purchase.

Time to Stop Waiting

The sundress arrived and I carefully opened the cardboard box to reveal the dress.

It was green and flowy and I knew right away I loved it.

It was perfect!

And then… 

…it hung in my closet with the tags still attached ever since the day it arrived. 

The Day Finally Came to Stop Waiting

a women in a dress who decided to stop waiting and live fully

I was meeting a dear friend for coffee, looking through my different sundresses.

My new dress caught my eye, but I thought, “Oh no, I couldn’t.”

What if I spill something on it? What if my pooch, Georgie Girl drools on it? It’s too special just to wear out for a cup of coffee. Plus, I have physical therapy after, so I’d have running shorts and a tank top underneath!

Then as I turned to reach for my old go-to sundress, the words of one of my dearest friends ran through my head. 

Years ago she’d been diagnosed with an advanced illness. Today, many, many years later, she’s healthy and well, but a particular moment from that time always stands out for me. 

It was soon after she’d gotten the all clear and we were getting together for a cup of coffee. 

She showed up just as she had done so often those days; dressed up in a great skirt, blouse, wearing lots of jewelry, and looking totally amazing.

“You always look so incredible these days,” I said to her. 

And her reply is what I want to share with you today.

“Kase,” she said, “One day I was standing there looking in my closet and saw all those clothes just hanging there, waiting for the party.” She waved her hands up in the air and looked right at me. “Then I realized, this is the party,” she said.

This is the party.

I still get chills. 

Stop Waiting and Start Living!

So this morning with my dear friend’s words ringing in my ears, I cut off those tags and I’m off for coffee in my new special dress! 

Because this is the party!

And every day that we get to be here is reason to celebrate, right?

So how will YOU celebrate?

I’d love to hear!

And if you want additional support, check our my Transformational Life Coaching Practice. 

 

***A reader recently reached out and said, “How have I been missing all your inspiration on social media?”

Her kind words meant so much to me!

If you’re on social and looking for uplifting messages, follow my posts on Instagram and Facebook. 

Are You Trying too Hard?

What would you say if I told you that I have a simple and easy trick that will help you achieve what you’re striving to accomplish in your life? Well there is! It begins with this simple question – Are you trying too hard?

The discovery of this method all began in a recent Transformational Life Coaching session with a new client.

The conversation went something like this:

I’m trying to exercise more.

I’m trying to set better boundaries with my employees and family.

I’m trying to focus more on self-care…

Before she could go any farther down the path of listing all the changes she was trying to accomplish, I invited her to take a moment to reflect upon the energy of the word “trying”.

I asked her to restate the three statements she’d just made, yet remove the word “trying.”

She paused a moment, tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked down at her notebook.

Then she lifted her head and spoke the three sentences:

I am exercising more.

I am setting better boundaries with my employees and family.

I am more focused on self-care.

She smiled and sat up taller in her chair.

“I get it,” she said.

The Magic of Not Trying too Hard

Trying implies a sense of uncertainty and potential failure. However, when you embrace the mindset that something already is, you shift your attention toward taking decisive action. You no longer waste energy on self-doubt or hesitations but instead direct your efforts towards implementing solutions and achieving results!

Language is powerful and the energy you put out in the world with the words you speak is powerful, too. (You already know I’m a little nuts about the word FINE!)

Well, trying is another word that causes me to cringe. It’s such a wishy-washy word. A half-in/half-out word. A someday word, rather than a right-now word.

a woman who has stopped trying and is leaning into the energy of already is

Are You Ready to Stop Trying So Hard?

Focus on what you’re “trying” to change in your life and notice if your language is aligned in support?

I am trying to be more patient with my kids vs

I am more patient with my kids.

I am trying to lose weight vs

I am losing weight.

I am trying to take time each day just for me vs

I am taking time each day just for me.

See the difference?

When we remove the word “trying” and instead lean into the energy of “it already is,” we shift our mindset and approach toward a more empowering and positive outlook!

Removing that one word – trying –  changes your intention from wishy-washy to certain and clear.

Your turn!

Get clear on your desires.

Then play with them and notice how a simple shift in awareness and language has the potential for profound change!

Be certain. Get clear. And reach out if you need extra support!

Bonus Writing Prompt –

a woman writing in a field not trying too hard

I am…

The two words that many consider to be the most powerful in the English language.

See where they take you.

As always, you’re invited to share in the Writing with Kasey FB group.

 

 

Find Your Safe Space

Lately, my thoughts and focus have been on the idea of how you can find your safe space within your day to day life. 

I’m always on the lookout for life lessons – those little magical moments when I have an ‘ah ha’ and think – Oh, yes, that’s a good one!

Well, our teachers come in all shapes and sizes and the latest one of these ‘ah ha moments’ came from my dear pup, Georgie Girl.

We were having a glorious late afternoon thunderstorm here in New Hampshire – well, glorious to me, but not so much to my dear Georgie, who is afraid of thunder!

As the rain was coming down hard on the roof and the thunder really starting to peak, I was in the laundry room folding sheets, and Georgie Girl soon ran in panting and shaking.

I was in the midst of folding a queen-size sheet, and Georgie ran right for it, tucked her head in the middle of the sheet, like she was saying, Mama, please wrap me up and let this be my safe space.

I adore my girl, but these sheets were white and my favorite, so I swapped out the sheet and picked up an old faded towel from the bin beneath the folding table and held it out for her.

She immediately tucked in her head, and I wrapped the rest down over her big body.

I held my hands still on her back practicing Reiki and we stayed that way for several minutes until I felt her panting subside and her whole being relax.

Connecting to Recent Thoughts

No surprise, that moment came right on the heels of what I’ve been thinking a lot about lately – finding safe moments and spaces within our own day to day lives.

Places and spaces where we can step away and give ourselves that sense of security and comfort, just like I had for Georgie Girl.

Lately, my serene, safe space has been my office. I close the door, stream tranquil music, sit for a few minutes in stillness and then take a few minutes to read a passage or two from one of my favorite spiritual books.

Outside of the house, I find safe, tranquil spaces in the woods, implementing the Japanese method of Forest Bathing, which I wrote about here.

Not all of you have the luxury of a quiet office, or wooded trail, but those quiet, safe moments are available if you intentionally look for, and create them.

my dog wrapped up in her safe space

Find Your Safe Spaces

~ Put on a pair of headphones and tuck into a corner of a couch with a blanket wrapped around yourself.

~ Set up a folding chair outside under the shade of a tree.

~ In the car, shut everything off, and just sit and breathe for a few quiet moments.

~ Create a little ‘altar’ with a some of your favorite books and mementos on a small table or stool in a corner where you visit for a few moments of quiet contemplation each day.

Many of my coaching clients, especially those with young children and/or demanding jobs, set an alarm 15 – 20 minutes early each morning to get up and create that sacred, quiet space in their days.

The beauty in giving yourself those few extra moments of comfort, kindness and care, is the impact it has on the rest of your day, and in turn, those you encounter as you move through your day.

You become the ripples on the pond, spreading your positive energy to others.

So…

Do you have a favorite space to which you retreat?

Are you ready to find one?

I would so love to hear!


I also know first hand that a notebook, scrap of paper or any writing devise of any sort, can be a safe place as well.

With that in mind, here is the latest writing prompt for you.

a writing prompt - I feel safe when

I feel safe when…

2 Simple Words to Change Your Mindset

I am so excited to share 2 simple words to change your mindset!

These “mindset changing” words came from a little moment of magic that happened in my world! I thought you may find it inspiring, too!

It happened a few months ago. I was on the phone with a dear friend and chronicling all the upcoming travel on my calendar.

Chronicling all my Travel

In March, we have to go to Spain to see our daughter, who’s on a semester abroad.

Then… we have to go to Vermont to ski with my sister.

Then…I have to go to Montreal with my hubby.

And then…we have to go to Florida to see our son who started a new job down there.

As wonderful as all the travel opportunities were, I was feeling uncertainty, overwhelm and dread about the amount of time away from home and how much prep work and arranging had to be done.

Clearly I needed to change my mindset, but I didn’t know how.

After chronicling all the upcoming travel plans and my accompanying angst, my friend offered a brilliant suggestion.

“What if,” she said, “rather than saying you ‘have to’ go you said you ‘get to’ go?

I held my phone in my hand, momentarily speechless.

Those two magic words!

Get to?

The shift was nearly instantaneous, and I thanked my friend profusely for sharing her brilliance!

I had shifted from the mindset of obligation and burden to one of opportunity and choice!

And all it took was changing 2 simple words from Have to…

to…Get to…

Right away I saw how this simple turn of phrase could easily be applied into my ordinary, everyday life, and of course, yours too!

Ways to use the 2 simple words to change your mindset –

Think of all the day to day things you do just kind of going through the motions, or perhaps, even dreading. All your “have tos’.

Now, make a shift!

Here are a few of my examples, but I encourage you to come up with your own!

I have to work out… I get to work out.

I have to go grocery shopping…I get to go grocery shopping.

I have to go to the doctor…I get to go to the doctor.

I have to                         I get to                              

Can you feel the difference the shift of those 2 simple words can make?

When you say you “have to ” do something, it creates a sense of resistance. Yet, when you reframe it as something you “get to” do, you’re shifting into the mindset of gratitude and appreciation.

This small but powerful shift in perspective led me to have a much more positive attitude, not just on all our travels – which by the way, were wonderful, easy and relaxing – but also on the small and simple moments that transpire throughout the day.

It’s a wonderful reminder to be grateful for the opportunities and experiences you have rather than taking them for granted.

a smiling woman after she changed her mindset with 2 simple words

What do you think?

Ready to give it a try?

Go ahead, play with it!

And keep me posted. I’d love to hear your thoughts, feedback and perhaps any insights of your own.

You can contact me directly at kasey@kaseymathews.com or find me over on Facebook and  Instagram

Did you find this post inspiring? Well there’s plenty more where that came from on my Awaken Your Magic Blog!

My Favorite Decluttering Tool

The trees are budding, flowers are blooming, and I am feeling inspired by the beauty of nature around me. And… as I tend to do about this time every year, I’m looking around my home and wondering – “Where did all this stuff come from?” Which prompts me to know it’s time to pull out my favorite decluttering tool!

In the past, spring clutter-clearing usually led me feelings of overwhelm and despair, but one I discovered my favorite go-to decluttering tool, I felt empowered and ready to take charge of my home and life!

It’s a simple, yet powerful Feng Shui technique, which I share in my book, A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Magical Life.

Here How it Works

​The basic principle is this: For 9 days in a row you get rid of (donate, throw out, consign, recycle) 27 things.

Yup, that’s it.

The 9 X 27 technique

What I love is the daily limitation of the 27 items.

Because as we all know, what often begins as decluttering enthusiasm, can quickly devolve into exhaustion and piles of stuff in each room, creating more of a mess than before you began!

We’ve all been there, right?

If you want to give it a try, keep it simple. Check your calendar and carve out 9 consecutive days. Start in one room, maybe with just one drawer.

And if you want to hold yourself more accountable, if you skip a day along the way, reset the calendar and start over on day one!

Most importantly, keep it light, have fun, and as with everything I recommend, do it without judging yourself.

This is not meant to be an exercise in beating yourself up. (Which is why I will practice what I preach and not beat myself up about the Christmas decorations still covering our dining room table!)

If you decide to give it a try, let me how you’re finding it. Or if you have your own favorite method, please share!

In the meantime, visit my Coaching Page and schedule a Discovery Session if you need additional support.

 


A Writing Prompt for Internal Decluttering

a writing prompt for internal decluttering

 

What are you creating space for in your life?


I am deeply honored and excited to be the speaker at this year’s Women Who Make a Difference Luncheon at Colby Sawyer College in New London, New Hampshire. If you happen to be in the area, it’s sure to be a day full of joy and connection!

the women who make a difference luncheon flyer in new london, new hampshire

 

The Importance of Rest

After my recent laments about my children leaving the nest, I soon became aware deeply aware importance of rest in my life.

I heard from many other women going through the same journey. Their wisdom, kindness, and assurances that I am not alone, were exactly what my aching mama-heart needed to hear.

Time for My Four Rs

It also became clear that it was a time that called for deep reflection, rest, recovery, and renewal – what I came to call, My Four Rs!

But those Four Rs – reflection, rest, recovery, and renewal, did not come easily for me.

Because rather than sit with the complexity of feelings and emotions that had emerged after the kids left, I instead, longed to just keep myself busy.

“Come on,” I said to myself. “With the kids gone it’s the perfect opportunity to clean out closets! And what a great chance to purge and reorganize the food pantry! And of course the fridge and basement chest freezer could desperately use your energy and attention!”

But that’s the thing; as much as all those tasks needed to be done, I simply didn’t have the energy to take them, or anything else, on.

I simply needed to rest.

My body, my mind and my soul all needed to rest.

So rather than getting busy, I instead allowed myself to slow down and move into this new rhythm of my days with lots of love and deep self-care.


Time for Self-Care

Self-care for me has looked like lots of rest, plus bundled up walks in the woods, books, blankets and tea on the couch, and of course, my old, faithful friend, writing.

I’ve gotten into the practice of daily “flow writing,” which I learned from one of my favorite meditation teachers Sarah Blondin.

Flow writing involves setting a timer for 10 minutes and not letting my pen (or in my case, my trusty #2 pencil) leave the page. Even when no words are emerging, I simply write something like… No words are emerging, over and over until they do.

Want to give it a go?

This is not an official writing challenge, but an offering of sorts for you to try on and see how it fits.

I personally have been doing this is a part of my daily practice and find that the practice leaves me feeling grounded and center throughout the day that follows.

So if the idea of flow writing has piqued your interest, here is a writing prompt to get you started ~ When I listen to my heart I hear…


If you’d like to share the writing that emerges for you, please visit the Facebook Group ~ Writing with Kasey Mathews ~ where a wonderful and supportive community has gathered.

 

 

 

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An Empty Nest

I recently went through the poignant and often painful process of letting my adult children go as they forge their own paths out in the world. Facing an empty nest can be a confusing and conflicting time. As always, it’s helpful to know you’re not alone on this journey. Here’s a bit of mine…

Facing An Empty Nest

Letting children go is the part of parenting no one can fully prepare you for.

As I witness my beloved children fly from the nest, this new year brings feelings of excitement, and at the same time, feelings of deep melancholy.

Of course, my children’s exciting new beginnings are exactly what I as a parent have hoped for!

Yet the heaviness in my heart, and occasional leaky tears, speak to the ongoing inevitable aspect of parenting – letting go.

Empty Nesting and the Deeper Grief Beneath the Surface

I’ve also come to recognize there’s a deeper element of sadness beneath this particular moment of letting go.

A grief of sorts, which I’ve come to see is the grief of losing the younger versions of my children. 

This newly empty nest, brought about the realization that my children are never going to be those little ones again.

The little ones I made mud pies with, baked morning pancakes for, and read nightly bedtime stories to.

I adored those days.

“Makes sense,” my hubby recently commented. “You taught kindergarten and second grade for 10 years.“

Indeed, he is right. I love the innocence and inherent wonder of those ages.

And yet here they are, my grown children, these beautiful young adults, carrying those amazing, younger versions of themselves within, prepared to share themselves with the world.

Leaving me with this empty nest and the opportunity for my new beginning.

I adore the wisdom of this quote on parenting from Khalil Gibran –

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”

That quote is exactly the reminder of what is most important for me in this moment – Trust.

I must trust and let my children go as I continue to hold them close in my heart.

An Empty Nest is also the time and opportunity for me to turn my focus back on myself. What about you?

Empty Nesting and Doubling Down on Self-Care

As I move into this new arena of empty nesting, I recognize that now more than ever it is a time to

I must meet myself where I am and honor all that I am feeling – the uncertainty, the grief, the worry, the possibility, the loneliness and any and all the other emotions that arise during this time of transition. 

Also, I’ve come to recognize that this is a time to double-down on my self-care practice.

What does that look like for me?

Daily walks in the woods, meditation, writing, reading, rest, lots of water and nutritious foods, connecting with my incredible coaching clients and of course, all of you.

Most of all, as I move into this new world of empty nesting, I intend to focus on all that I love that brings Magic into my days.

Are You Facing an Empty Nest? Now, or Sometime in the Future?

If so, what does self-care look like for you?

Remember, you don’t have to wait to move into the empty nesting phase of parenting to focus on self-care!

Everyday is an opportunity to focus on You and invite more Magic into your days! 

So…how will you take the best care of YOU as you move through this new year?

I would be so honored to hear.

My New Favorite Phrase

I recently heard a particular phrase and couldn’t wait to share it with you! It’s become my new favorite phrase!

I’d certainly heard the phrase before, as most likely have you, and yet, this time it landed with a deep resonance.

It emerged from a conversation about upcoming travel, when I expressed that, yes, I felt excited, but also anxious at the same time.

To which my companion simply replied, “Yes, both are true, right?”

And I was momentarily stopped in my tracks.

Yes! Indeed! Both are true!

I didn’t have to choose!

Then I ran with it…

As I continued to encounter moments that sparked confusion and uncertainty (as most of us do throughout our days), I pulled my new favorite phrase out of my back pocket and soon felt a sense of relief and clarity.

“Both are true,” I would nearly sing to myself.

It reminded me that we don’t have to choose between one experience or another; or between one aspect of ourselves and another.

Instead, we can hold space for the complexity of emotions and experiences, acknowledging that multiple truths can coexist at the same time.

Isn’t that wonderful? And freeing? Ever so simple, and yet utterly profound?

If you’re feeling it too, consider it my gift to you. An unexpected gift I happened to received and so happily pass on to you.

 


A New Favorite Podcast Interview

Recently, I had the honor of being a guest on the fabulous podcast, Finding Wilder with Micayla Jean.

The conversation was deep and illuminating.

As we spoke, we explored wonderful topics like writing, motherhood, transitions, healing and so much more. It was beautiful to witness the theme of “speaking your truth” emerge over and over again.

I worked with Micayla Jean several years ago in my coaching practice, so this certainly felt like a wonderful full-circle moment.

I hope you have the chance to listen.

Finding Wilder: Universal Feelings and Healing through Transitions with Kasey Mathews


If YOU are ready to step into a life overflowing with purpose, magic and joy, one space is opening up in my life coaching practice in April!

Learn more about my practice here – Coaching with Kasey and/or schedule a complimentary discovery session here – Discovery Call with Kasey 


Finally, here is the promised writing prompt!

It’s been wonderful to hear how many of you are enjoying the practice of flow writing.As always, you are welcome and encouraged to share in our community Facebook group Writing with Kasey Mathews. 

a writing prompt using my new favorite phrase both are true

The truth is…

Are You Too Busy? Take a Self-Care Slow Down

Lately, whenever I ask folks how they’re doing, the standard answer seems to be…Busy. Are you too busy, as well? Well let me invite you to take a “self-care slow down.”

Everybody is Busy

Yup. It’s that time of year again.

And we’re not even into the holiday season.

Yup I get it.

But, hang on!

Because I’m certain that in the midst of your busyness, you can find a few moments each day to get centered and quiet.

Here is The Key

How?

You do this by noticing.

Paying attention to what’s around you.

As you’re racing through the grocery store, take a moment to slow down and stand in front of the produce and see all the magnificent colors.

As you’re folding laundry, slow down and feel the textures of the clothing on your fingers.

When in your car, notice what you’re choosing to surround yourself with – negative news that triggers your nervous system? Background music you’re barely listening to? What about an and a little aromatherapy to create your own sanctuary on wheels?

There are numerous opportunities throughout the day when you can simply slow down, notice, and be more present.

flowers and the phrase slowing down is self-care

Slowing Down is self-care.

And it doesn’t require making an appointment for a manicure, pedicure or massage.

It just requires you bringing in the awareness and choosing to be more intentional in how you move throughout your days.

Slowing down is truly a simple practice that can be deeply life changing. 

Slowing down in the antidote to our busy lives!

So the next time someone asks, How are you?

Take a moment to really notice; check in and ask yourself, How am I?

If you’re giving yourself these precious, soul-nourishing moments to slow down throughout your days, hopefully your answer will be, “Good. I’m really good.”

Then take that opportunity to sprinkle some of that magic on everyone else who needs to slow down and give themselves more moments to breathe.

Let’s be the ripples on the pond, spreading this self-care love out to those we meet throughout our days.

And notice, as you make space for these magical moments in your days, you’ll find that gratitude and appreciation flow in to fill that space.

And that is a beautiful thing, especially this time of year!


Sharing a little client love recently sent my way!

“Kasey describes herself as a Transformational Life Coach, and I would daresay that ‘Transformational’ is an understatement.”

Awww!!! I am so grateful and blessed to show up and get to do the work I do in the world!

You can learn more about my

How to Manage Times of Uncertainty

As life tends to do from time to time, it has delivered a hard moment in my life. And this current moment prompted me to think about how to manage times of uncertainty and share the tool with YOU, that I most often turn to in these times of need.

Here in New Hampshire the mornings now have a chill to the air.

As I pull out my warmer sweaters, I’m grieving the loss of the looseness and spontaneity of the summer season.

Yet at the exact same time, I’m rejoicing in the arrival of the rhythm and routines that coincide with the fall season.

Like so much in life, it turns out to not be an Either/Or situation but an And/Both!

As the seasons have changed, I’ve begun to find my footing, yet as life tends to do, unexpected tests and trials have been thrown in my path.

And based on what I’m hearing from many of you, it sounds like I’m not alone.

How I Manage Times of Uncertainty

As tends to be the case, along with these times of uncertainty come the close cousins – fear, worry and angst.

My #1 preference would be to climb under the covers, squeeze my eyes shut tight and shout, “Wake me when it’s over!”

But seeing that I’m a living breathing Mom, Wife, Business Owner, and Georgie Girl’s #1 Dog Walker, that is not an option.

So… instead, I turn to my most loyal and trusted friend… the page.

writing to find answers in times of uncertainty

A recent Sunday morning writing session

Writing is where I make sense of the world, find the answers I seek, and assure the child within that she is safe.

Times of uncertainty can trigger your nervous system into fight, flight or freeze mode and make you feel unsafe.

Soothing and assuring yourself that you are safe is the first step toward feeling calmer, confident and clear-headed.

What tools do you use to feel safe?

If you want to give writing a try, I’m sharing one of my favorite writing prompts to get you started.

Don’t worry about having a special notebook, or pen. Any old scrap of paper will do.

This is an exercise about discovering what’s hiding inside of you and bringing it out into the light.

If you feel called to do so, please share your words over in the warm and welcoming Facebook Community I created. 

Go ahead, allow your truths to come to light.

I’m here if you need additional support.

a writing prompt I am afraid that...