The first thing I always do when I pick up a new book is flip it over and read the back cover.  My latest was Renee Trudeau’s new book, Nurturing the Soul of Your Family – 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life.

When I read the line…

“What would it feel like to experience more ease, harmony and flow in the midst of navigating homework, squabbles, mealtimes, commutes, and the other challenges of everyday life?”

…on the back cover, I thought of the all the demands and stress on our busy family and spoke right back to the book. “I have no idea,” I tried to disguise the desperation in my voice before begging, “Please, please, please tell me how.”

And it did.

In fact, I soon discovered that Renee Trudeau’s book is the guiding light I’ve been searching for since I began this wild and wonderful child-rearing journey.

In the early pages of the book, Renee asks, “Where did all the fun go?  I thought having a family was supposed to enhance my life, to offer opportunities for joy and delight!  When did things start becoming so tedious? So involved, so complex, so overwhelming? So darn hard?”

When I read that line, I thought maybe Renee had a hidden camera in my kitchen (or perhaps my car).  But then I thought of all the recent conversations I’ve had with so many friends, all with children of various ages, asking exactly those same questions. Where did all the fun go?  And more importantly, How do we get it back? and Is it even possible?

Well, here’s the good news.  I can honestly say that after reading (devouring) this book, I know it is possible.

There is so much I love about this book.  First of all, Renee doesn’t just offer a bunch of suggestions and send you off down the path alone. Instead, she walks side-by-side along with the reader, occasionally even reaching out to offer a hand when one is needed. And as she shares her own vulnerability in her personal stories of struggle and uncertainty, she assures us that she’s in the thick of it right along with us. I chuckled out loud when she called herself a “recovering perfectionist and control freak.”

At other times in the book, Renee is firm and clear, and offers much needed directives.  When she talked about self-care, it really hit home for me.  “Regardless of what we tell our children, we teach them about self-worth and how to honor oneself through our actions, not our words.”  Ok, so if my kids see me taking my daily walks, excusing myself for much needed naps, scheduling Reiki and massage appointments, as well as date nights with my hubby, they’ll learn to do the same?  Sounds like a win-win to me.  What about you?

Here’s the other thing. I’m a bargain shopper who loves a great deal.  This book is a great deal.  I’m not talking about the price, I’m talking about what’s between the front and back covers. Seriously, there are like hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands of dollars worth of therapy and life-coaching wisdom packed into this book. As I read, I kept thinking, Holy Smokes, I’m getting all of this out of just one book!

By far, the coolest result so far from reading Nurturing the Soul of Your Family is the wonderful night we had as a family, meeting and discussing what we could do to bring more fun back into our lives.  We’ve tried family meetings before, but usually someone stomps out of the living room before we can make any progress. This time, however, inspired by the book, I called it a “Team Meeting” and declared we’d do it once a month and that we had to eat pancakes for dinner on Team Meeting Nights.  The kids loved it! We made a list of all the things the kids thought we could do together to bring more joy back into our lives – playing tag, going bowling, pancakes for dinner(!). The meeting also took on a more serious tone and became an opportunity for all of us (especially the kids) to share their worries and concerns and grievances and feel like they were really being heard.

During the meeting, we all agreed that the technology in our home (3 laptops, 1 iPad, 1 iPhone, 1 blackberry, 2 Kindle Fires and 2 iPods) had become an issue.  So I proposed a one day a week, device-free day.  Sunday seemed to make the most sense.  The kids were pretty reluctant, but surprisingly my husband readily agreed, even pushing the kids.  “Come on guys, we can do anything for one day.”  When I cleared my throat and told him I meant all Sundays, his face fell for a moment before he regained his composure and tried to display his enthusiasm. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!

Either way, Renee Trudeau’s book has got me thinking and questioning and striving for a more conscious, peaceful and joyous family life and I could not be more grateful. And I know it will do the same for you.

I am delighted to announce that Renee’s wonderful publisher, New World Books, has graciously offered a free copy to one of you.  To be eligible to win, just leave a comment below and, as always, I’ll let Random.org do the choosing. (You know otherwise I’d choose every one of you!)

Not sure what to say in your comment?  Maybe you’d like to answer the question – “What would it feel like to experience more ease, harmony and flow in the midst of navigating homework, squabbles, mealtimes, commutes, and the other challenges of everyday life?”

Eleven years ago when the fun was just beginning.

Inspired by my post from a couple of weeks ago, my daughter asked to stop at our local nursery for some flower therapy.

She took lots of photos, but this one in particular blew me away.

If only I were a painter!

This morning I picked up Eckhart Tolle’s book, Oneness With All Life, which contains selections from his book, A New Earth, and as I like to do, flipped it open to a random page.  Here’s what I read:

“Seeing beauty in a flower can awaken you, however briefly, to the beauty  that is an essential part of your innermost being, your true nature.  Joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition.  Flowers can become for us an expression in form of that which is most high, most sacred, and ultimately formless within ourselves.  Flowers, more fleeting, more ethereal, and more delicate than the plants out of which they emerge, are like messengers from another realm, like a bridge between the world of physical forms and the formless. They not only have a scent that is delicate and pleasing, but also bring a fragrance from the realm of spirit.”

Happy Friday and my this weekend bring you much rest and joy.

I thought about this the other day, after I’d already posted the blog on managing anxiety, and wished I’d included it on the list.  As a kid, I used to frequently visit my Aunt Mimi and one of my favorite things to do with her was head to her friend’s garden nursery for what Aunt Mimi called “flower therapy.”

We wandered the aisles of the greenhouses, my eyes soaking in the colors and light and textures, my nose breathing in the scents, my fingers stroking the variety of green leaves.  And I consciously felt my heart beat more slowly, and a tingle move through my hands, and an awakening happen in my soul.

It wasn’t a conscious choice when I started doing it with my kids.  The greenhouses just happen to be on the way home from school.  “Wanna stop for some flower therapy,” I asked one afternoon and they’ve been asking me ever since.  (It helps that the greenhouse passes out free popcorn and cookies!)

From there, we went to the yarn shop where our eyes feasted on the rolled-up skeins of wool, too many colors to even imagine, all stacked in their wooden crates.  And the local fruit stand, where the array of color, when we stop to notice, is on full display right before our eyes.

That seems to be it.  The noticing.  Because what I have come to notice, is when I slow down enough to allow myself the time to see, the world around us is full of color and scent and texture and light, all just waiting for us to soak it in.

Thank you Aunt Mimi for giving me the eyes with which to see.

Do you have a favorite “therapy” 

“Joseph Campbell asserts that once the hero commits to his quest, whether consciously or unconsciously, then magical helpers arrive to point the way.” Katrina Kenison, Magical Journey

Some books I read. Sitting up in bed, lying on the love seat in the kitchen, leaning back in a chair in the ski lodge following the story, page after page.  But every once in a while, a book comes along that I pore over with pencil in hand, not just reading but studying, like an educational life course, marking line after line as if there will be an exam at the end.

Magical Journey is just that sort of book.  I’ve sent copies to my mom, to my sister, to my aunt, to my yoga teacher and to several friends.  I wish I could send a copy to every one of you.

Katrina writes about loss and grief and the tears that trickle down her cheeks onto her yoga mat.  And she writes about love.  When you strip everything else away, Magical Journey is about love.  It’s her story, but it’s my story, and yours, too, just in a different town, in a different kitchen, with a different family, in different circumstances.

Katrina is such an exquisite writer that I’ve been reluctant to write this post, afraid that my words could never do hers justice.  So rather than try, I’ll let Katrina’s words speak for themselves by including a few of my favorite passages. But first, I want tell you why Katrina and her books are so important to me. Because long before we met in person, Katrina had been one of those magical helpers on my journey.

You see, it was two days after Andie’s birth that I found Katrina’s first book, Mitten Strings for God in the hospital gift shop.  That book became an ever present guidepost and reminder of the gift of motherhood, teaching me to remember childhood is precious and fast and that raising my children with presence is the greatest gift I can bestow upon them and myself.

And then Katrina wrote The Gift of an Ordinary Day, chronicling her journey with her adolescent children, preparing me for what was to come (and has) in my life.

And now, Magical Journey.  It’s about her journey into mid-life, a place I have yet to reach, but a place I don’t yet need to be to feel and comprehend and devour this story.  Because Katrina has pulled the curtain so far back on her inner-emotions and feelings, at times I felt almost embarrassed to be reading such intimate details about her life.  There is so much more I could say, so much more I want to say, but instead, I will say just say this, Read this book.  It is truly a must for anyone seeking a fuller, more profound existence in life.

Katrina has generously offered a signed copy of Magical Journey for one of you and I’m giving a copy of Mitten Strings for God away to another lucky reader.  Leave a comment below and as always I’ll let Random.org do the choosing.

In the meantime, as promised, here are a few of my favorite, underlined passages from Magical Journey.

From the chapter titled Stillness, Katrina writes, “To be human and alive, it seems, is to strive and to struggle, to learn and to grow even as we endure our losses and question our ability to transcend them.  It’s easy to think we should be somewhere or someone else – smarter and wiser, or further along on the path, closer to having an answer.  Instead we muddle along, heads down, certain everyone else must know something we haven’t figured out yet.”  Oooh, I love that so much! Totally reminded of my word of the year, Enough.

And also from the chapter Stillness, “My first inclination always, when the tears start, is to jump up and get on with things…But making the choice to just hang in there with my own rather pathetic self for a while demands a different kind of perseverance altogether, a kind of strength that lays bare all of my weakness.  And so I try, day after day, not to scorn this raw, sorrowful soul, not to dry my eyes and bolt, but to settle into the darkness instead, heart open, experiencing the humiliating truth of my own silent, barren place.”  What an incredibly important lesson.

And another inspiring lesson, this one from the chapter called Going, “I learned that sometimes the best thing we can do for our children is to acknowledge our own need for help, to make room for their vulnerability by sharing our own.”

And finally, probably, my favorite line of the entire book from the chapter appropriately called Love, “Maybe all I really need to do – all anyone needs to do – is trust in what we love and continue to do that.”

It’s all about the love.  It always is, isn’t it?

If you want to order Katrina’s book, click here and if you’d like to read more of her gorgeous writing in her weekly blog posts, head on over to her website www.katrinakenison.com.

Remember to leave a comment if you want a chance to win a copy of Magical Journey or Mitten Strings and a huge congrats to Renee, the winner of the Winter Jamms Hat Giveaway!

Happy Valentine’s Day Y’all!

Publishing a book is by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  Well, outside of parenting.  But interestingly, it turns out that book publishing and birthing a baby have a lot in common.  In fact, much of my publishing process seemed to mirror what it was like having a baby in the NICU (beside the looming threat of death). So much uncertainty, lots of stomach-churning ups and downs, good news and bad news scenarios, days full of sadness and others full of hope.

And one other strikingly similar aspect of book publishing and life with a baby in the NICU, is the unexpected emergence of Angels.

The chapter in my book about Andy the cop, the angel who appeared on that snowy Boston morning and found me that parking space so I could spend a few precious moments with my daughter, seems to be a reader favorite.  And there are so many other angels who influenced our story, just as there are angels that appeared along my book publishing path.

One of the greatest and most influential angels was an organization called Hand to Hold.

Right around the time my first publishing offer fell through, I received an email from a woman named Babs who’d happened upon my website through an internet search.  Babs referred me to Kelli Kelley, the founder of Hand to Hold, who read my book and declared “We have got to get this book into every NICU in the country!”  And with the backing of a national preemie organization, I was soon on my way to securing a literary agent and a new publisher.

Needless to say, I’m incredibly devoted to Hand to Hold, but not just because of their influence in my book’s publication.  Hand to Hold’s Mission is about helping preemie parents heal, so their babies can do the same.  They focus on providing peer-to-peer support by matching “graduated” preemie parents to act as mentors to those just beginning their experience.  I often wonder how different my own experience might have been if Hand to Hold had existed twelve years ago.

Which is why I am so thrilled to announce my participation in Hand to Hold’s fundraising campaign called For the Love of Babies.  As a participant in their Snoball Challenge, I will donate all my proceeds from Preemie book sales through the months of February and March.

But I need your help to make this a success!

How can you help?

1.) Share the news on your Facebook page and Twitter feed. Copy the link to this page and paste it right into your newsfeed.  http://www.kaseymathews.com/a-hand-to-hold/

2.) Post a review of Preemie on Amazon.

3.) Email a few friends and tell them why you think they would enjoy reading Preemie.

4.) Choose Preemie as your book group selection. I’ve shown up for several groups that were within driving distance and Skyped with those that were not.  The wine and discussion were wonderful in all instances!

5.) Consider giving Preemie as a gift.  More and more, I’m receiving letters from those who’ve had no personal experience with premature birth, yet find the universal life lessons found in the book both healing and transformative.  I can mail you a signed book plate if you’d like the book personalized.

6.) Donate a copy to your NICU.  Again, I’ll happily send a signed book plate.

7.) Finally, Donate directly to Hand to Hold’s campaign!

And please, If you have questions, thoughts or suggestions, leave them in the comment section below or email me directly at prematurejourney@gmail.com.  I look forward to hearing from you and thank you so much your support.

With blessings and gratitude,

Kasey